Before you read, you have to know that this is going to be an emotional post that will make some of you, who don't like these kinds of things, feel uneasy.
I avoided writing this post for a long time because it's quite personal. By no means is this a rant towards the people that have raised and taught me to be appreciative of what I have because, the fact of the matter is, I am. I am so grateful that I wake up in my bed and can take out my computer and start a post that I know will be seen by other bloggers and friends. I also have a shelf of books that I haven't even started to read from and it's more than I could ask for.
But some people just don't understand...
The same thing goes for non-booklovers. You could be shopping at Barnes & Noble with a cart of 20 books and the person next to you could be eyeing you with a dirty look on their face trying to wonder why you need all those books. I hate it when people that don't understand my love/our love for books, and who aren't apart of the book loving community, think that they have the right to judge and scowl or even point out that you shouldn't be hoarding books and/or buying so many when you already have a ton of books you haven't read yet. You think we can help this unbearable need for books (more like the need to read)? This is something that comes naturally to any booklover/blogging/booktuber, you just have this craving, this urge to buy books! And that's because it's our passion; our love!
So they act like they know us...
A conversation between a booklover and a person who doesn't understand why the booklover likes books so much, aka the hater.
Hater: Look, I understand that you love to read. I totally get you, but why do you have to buy a new book every week?
Booklover: No you don't truly understand why I love to read because if you did, you wouldn't be questioning why I do the things I do.
Hater: I just think it's absurd and a waste of money. And plus, you've got no room on your shelves for it.
The pretend to be familiar with what situation we're in and they say the stupidest things ever while doing so. Sucks, doesn't it? To have that conversation with someone and go back and forth when the answer is so obvious to you but not to them? Books are like a token. To some people they are a measurement and testament to how much you've read. You can hold up a book from your shelf and think to yourself, hey I finished and read all 465 pages of this book.
This just annoys me! How I have to deal with the people that I love doubting what I like to do and thinking I'm stupid enough to waste money on books. I promised myself I wouldn't cuss or say bad things about them but it's coming to a point where I just need to lay my hand down on the table and say STOP!
My parents and friends haven't been the biggest supporters of my obsession over the course of how long I've been doing blogging and booktubing. I don't blame them since all of this was kind of surprising and abrupt. I am a shy person and it's weird to them to see me getting out there. I just feel like I'm questioned a lot about the real reason I do all this and when I tell them it's just my simple love for reading, they don't believe me. It's hard, you know. I know this life is a little expensive but passion doesn't come without consequence half the time, and I just thought I would be encouraged not brought down by the friends and family I love. I want to take this time to write a letter to everyone who is now doubting my current situation.
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Dear Haters,
You don't know, so don't attempt to. If you don't want to support me, or at least have the decency to respect what I do and not make a joke out of it, then I shouldn't have to do the same to you. I've played along with what you've wanted for a long time now. I've tried everything to stop myself from not reading or not buying. Can't you just face the fact that it doesn't work and I can't do it? No you can't because you still think I'm crazy. Goodbye to you.
And there it is. This is probably the most emotional piece I've written since I started blogging, but I had to do it and get it off my chest. Thanks if you guys actually read that. I love you for that reason that we're a family all on our own. Blogging fam forever!
I love this post Alex! Growing up, my cousins were always teasing me for never going outside because I would always stay in my room and read books. I'm not exactly an introvert, so I don't always stay in my room ALL THE TIME. I have a life too. But sometimes, when they catch me reading, they think that what I'm doing makes me a "loner" and that I should go outside and join parties like a regular person. I just hate how they downgrade me that way just because I love books. I mean, sure I go outside and hang out with friends sometimes, but reading books in my room doesn't automatically mean that I'm an introverted "loner."
ReplyDeleteEnd rant. :P I totally get that some people are not into books, but if they hate books so much, they shouldn't be spewing their negativity to us booklovers because that's not nice!
Jillian @ Jillian's Books
Thank you so much for sharing! It gives me comfort when I know this isn't only occurring in my life and that some other people feel the same way. I hope the negativity decreases over the years and they learn to accept who you are. <3
DeleteAmen to this post, Alex! It really needed to be said. I completely agree and now I am starting to think that it must be some sort of right of unwritten rite of passage for booklovers to be forced through years of snide comments and rude people with their judging eyes telling us why book-hoarding/reading/being passionate in any sort of way about booky things is not normal. I grew up in a family that loves sports. No one else likes to read. No one else can even sit still long enough to read a book so I'm "weird" and nerdy and all that stuff to them. But blogging with like-minded people reminds me that we aren't alone. So please don't feel too lonely Alex! You have us - and it seem we are the only sane people in the world some times. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I have you guys. *Hugs* You're right. They can think whatever they want as long as we're not affected by it. I'm here for you as you are here for me! <3
DeleteI never let anyone make me feel funny about something I love. I don't care what it is. If I love books, so be it. If you/I buy books every week so, be it. You could have an unhealthy/dangerous habit. But you read. There is nothing negative or not positive about reading.
ReplyDeletePeople don't understand what they don't understand. It's a good thing there's book blogging so we can share our obsession mostly happily with other like minded people.
Alex, let your book loving/nerd flag fly--and never doubt how amazing you are, obsessive book loving habit and all.
I'm glad you mentioned that! Book blogging recently has made my level of insecurity decrease and because of all you guys, I'm finding so many people who have the same interests as I do and strive to do the same things. I think it's hardwired in all our brains to question things we don't understand. I just hope people don't hate because of it.
DeleteAbsolutely love this post, Alex!!!! It is so so so true and I hate that we all seem to have to deal with these sorts of people. THEY JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND… I am lucky enough to know a few people who understand my passion for books, but there are so many that just stare if I casually whip out a book wherever I am (or am walking around the bookstore with a teetering pile of books because apparently my bookstores don't use carts). I have always been a reader, and people have come to me for recommendations/etc. before, but when I decided to turn my passion to blogging (so I could reach out and share my thoughts and love for books with others), I had people close to me tell me I couldn't do it. I was allowed to do it, yes, but some of my closest friends didn't believe I could. They thought (although extremely exaggerated) something along the lines of "your head is always in books and you have no social life and you are an introvert and [yada yada] so I don't think you can do it." Basically, they just thought I was too shy a person to actually follow through with my passion. And for me, when people tell me that I'm not good enough to do something I really want to do, or that I don't have the guts to do it, 't gives me even more motivation to do said thing. So that's why I started a blog and although I am still bad at not caring what other people think, I am getting better :)
ReplyDeleteThe best thing about blogging is that you can be anybody!!!! Whether that means being an introvert of the most social person in the world, anybody could do it. So that's definitely something that your doubters have to take in! At first, my parents didn't believe me when I said I wanted a blog. They thought it was a stupid thing that I would eventually let go off like all the sports I'd joined and piano classes I had taken. It was time to prove them wrong and by writing this post and seeing your guys' responses, I feel a huge weight lifted off my shoulders because I know this isn't all in my head.
DeleteI've been fighting for my passion for as long as I can remember. You are 100% NOT ALONE! This post is absolutely amazing and you're an amazing person for telling these people off.
ReplyDeleteAs you know I hav 4 parents and 2 half sisters. Every little thing is judged by 4 parents 6grandparents 3aunts (some who aren't actually my aunt) and most of all goes through homeschooling. Since the start of this year and the start of my love for books all those people wanted to judge the fact that I was homeschooling and using my time to dance and read *scoff* ya books *scoff*. They say things like "dont you do sports" or "dance isn't a sport" or the worst "what about science, English,math,history" and that's were I hav to stop them.
that's when I know there just being ignorant. My passion is to read and talk to my friends about reading. And also to dance and read about dance. And also to learn science by reading about science. People get stuck in a little box that they dont realize their in. They think life consists of 1) the normal regular public school 2)the normal regular (sports) hobbies 3)the normal regular school and neighborhood friends.
I had to realize that because this is my passion I can do WHATEVER I WANT TO DO WITH IT!!! There is no place to which my passion ends and there are no people who can validate my passion. This passion of my is not a democracy it is a dictatorship. PLEASE do not belittle our passion because for some of us its one of the only happy things in our lives.
Being home schooled is one of the greatest experiences in of my life so far. But being judged is the worst.
Dont let anyone try to tell you how to do you. And fight for your passion because those people who love something and love it with everything they hav and meet other amazing people while doing it than your on the same level as every creator out there. No one can be in your shoes alex so they are all just ignorant and should be seen as the smallest bump in the road. <3
You're so brave for writing this and sharing your story as well! I love the people who do that. I'm aware of the fact that I'm not alone it's just sometimes I forget that. My whole purpose to writing this post was to inspired those who are like me (people who don't 100% believe in themselves) and turn their insecurity and guilt into courage and something stronger. I'm also quoting you whenever I need to use your line: "This passion of mine is not a democracy; it is a dictatorship." Thanks Bella <3
DeleteLove this post! Thankfully, my parents are supportive with what I do, and they'd prefer I read books and stay indoors, than be outside partying with friends and all, which is actually okay with me since I'm pretty much an introvert, lol. Though, at first, my mom wasn't wholly into it because I read romance novels (mostly erotic romance) and despite that I'm pretty much an adult, she still thinks I'm her baby girl and shouldn't be reading such books, lol. But now, she can't do anything about it, lol. Though sometimes, she does warn me on spending so much money on a book that I'm just going to read for a couple of hours, though I did explain that I want to own a collection and keep them with me as I grow older and even when I have a family of my own. That, she understands.
ReplyDeleteAnother thing is, I come from a family of STEMs (Science, Technology, Engineering and Maths) and I'm the only one who went the other way and joined the Arts. My mom and her siblings are all STEM graduates so my aunts are kind of judgmental with my passion for art and books, because they feel as if I wouldn't really get a high paying job other than being part of a TV network (Journalism/Broadcasting) which apparently, I can't do because I hate public speaking. And what sucks more, is I've been jobless for more than a year now (I graduated college last year) because it's hard to find a job and also, I thought I could like take some time off before I look for work, but just when I was about to get back in the job hunting zone, my grandmother needs assistance because she's old and sick as well, so I'm currently her caretaker. *sigh* But yeah, I always do get snide comments from my relatives whenever they see me reading or on the internet because I'm just "wasting time on useless things".
All the negativity aside, I've learned to just shrug it off, and block em out everytime they talk. In one ear and out the other. As long as my parents support me, that's all I need. I don't need my aunts and uncles and their constant shade throwing. My time's gonna come, I know it. And yours will too! And if your friends can't accept who you are, then they're not really your friends. Friends support each other, no matter what choice they make. We don't need all that negativity in our lives. At least we're not out there doing drugs, drinking, partying or getting pregnant (not shaming them because I have friends who do the same, but you get the point, lol)
Keep your chin up high, Alex! Don't let them haters get to you! <3
Blessie @ Mischievous Reads
An introvert? You seem like the most outgoing person ever. Just the way you communicate with others and your blog design kind of reflects on your person. Congrats on graduating but you're so unique from your family then because you went another way. You're lucky you've got the support but I'll definitely take your advice and shrug off the haters because you guys (all my blogging friends) give me so much hope and courage!
DeleteI love this post!! My parents aren't the biggest supporters for my reading passion as well. While I admit that my mom did gave me a couple of her old books and my dad helped me place a bookshelf in my room, every now and then they'd just tell me, "is that a new book? you bought another book when you still have so many unread books in your shelf!?" and a few more of the same scenarios. My friends would sometimes be like that as well but I just tend to do what I want, I buy my books even though they tell me not too..
ReplyDeleteI'd say keep doing what you love and don't let others discourage you :)
czai @ the Blacksheep Project
Thanks for sharing! You're so strong, and I totally commend you for that! Thanks for the wonderful advice <3
DeleteYES! I love this post and the personal aspects that you incorporated. Everyone thinks that I am crazy because I like to read...for fun. I enjoy the books that I am assigned to read in class, and that instantly makes me a freak. Just because I would rather be curled up with a good book than mindlessly watching Vines or Snapchatting does not make me a freak of nature. Whenever I dare to pull out a book in public (I always have one with me, and that is yet another thing that people criticize me about) I am looked at as if I belong in an asylum. Everyone else has their phones, tablets, and other devices out doing things in the virtual world, and they look at me as if I am a caveman who does not understand the pleasures of the Internet. I am not sorry that I refuse to be a clone who stares at their phone all day. I like to read, write, and think on my own. I love words, authors, bloggers, and everyone else who shares my passion. And honestly, I just feel bad for people who will never understand my love for books. They are clearly missing out.
ReplyDeleteGreat post, Alex!
I feel the same way in public when I take my book out. I'm sick and tired of it because I shouldn't feel this way! But I do and I really don't know how to stop. You guys have given me such great advice in being confident about what I love that I have to keep trying and keep feeling good about myself. Thanks for sharing ur experience with this topic!
DeleteIt can be hard when they simply don't understand. I have way too many books that I haven't read yet, but I love reading, and it's a hobby so it's something I am going to continously do. I think this when we have to point out to people that they have their passions too. Artists are always buying more paint - some that they might never use, but we don't stop them. People buy heedless amounts of clothes they don't need because they like it! I feel like people need to understand that everyone have their passions. No need to be rude about it.
ReplyDeleteExactly. So one day if someone questions me I should just ask them what they enjoy and love to do and question them, right? But no I wouldn't stoop to their level. I would just tell them that they have a passion to so they shouldn't be so rude about it :D
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