A guide to deciphering what a book-lover is really saying. For the aid of non-lovers and enjoyment/laughter of the book-lovers!
**Warning: These may not be accurate, but they're really funny true in most instances**
1. "You should totally read this book"
What we really mean to say is... Read this book or you'll regret it. You better read it because I'm watching you, and I'm going to ask again in a week and see if you've read it. I'm going to test you on the book by asking you questions. Don't tell me you're going to read it and then you don't because then you're asking to be slapped. Don't tell me you're not going to read it either because then you'll get slapped even harder.
I know we all try to convince people to read our favorite books. It's hard to get people to read the books that we like. This is what book-lovers mean 90% of the time they say "you should totally read this book." Am I right or am I wrong?
2. "I own so little books"
What we really mean to say... I have so so so so many books! They are piled on my desk, shoved under my pillows, sticking out of drawers, and falling off bookshelves. I literally have like a library in my house. BUT I WANT MORE!! I'm never going to have enough and besides, that girl totally has so much more than I do. I need more to beat her so in reality, I don't have many books after all!
We usually say we have "so little books" so people can gather sympathy for us and even get us some more. In reality, we actually have no more room for books but we compare our book capacity to other readers and in doing so, we say we have so much less compared to them. It's a habit to compare, just deal with it.
3. "I'm alright. I'm just tired, that's all"
What we really mean to say... I stayed up till 2 am finishing this book. Soon after I finished it, I stayed up till 4 am looking up at the ceiling and crying. What the hell! SHE SAID SHE LOVED HIM BUT HE DISAPPEARED? HOW COULD HE BE SO FREAKING SELFISH? THEY WERE MY OTP FOR LIFE AND NOW THEY'RE NOTHING BECAUSE HE'S NO LONGER THERE WITH HER TO LOVE AND TO CARE FOR HER! WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS WORLD!!!!! Just go away please, I'd rather be left alone *crawls up into a ball and cries*
When we tell someone we're "tired" or "alright" it means some people people wouldn't understand how long we stayed up reading this fantastic book and then it all came crashing down because the feels. It hard me too hard this time, and I'm exhausted because I wasn't prepared to stay up that long.
4. "Sorry can't talk right now. I'm reading"
What we really mean to say... I'm not really reading, but I don't want to hear about your stupid problems and your gossip about other people. I'll say that I'm reading because you'll believe me when I say that and you'll know I'm serious (and you won't bother me). So right now "I'm reading" but I'm really just watching some Netflix or looking through my feed on Instagram :P
When we don't want to talk to someone, we just give them the most casual excuse. If we tell them we're reading, they'll probably leave us alone because they know how important it is. Isn't this the excuse all of us use sometimes?
5. "I know it's going to be a really cool party, but I can't go because my mom said we're going out for dinner"
What we really mean to say... My mom didn't actually say we're going out for dinner. There's this book I'm reading and I almost done. Like, I'm so close to the end it's not even funny and I had to stop reading yesterday because my mom took the book away. She gave it back this morning, and I figured I'd rather read on a Friday night than go to this pool party or whatever it is. I need to finish this book to see what happens between Joyce and Leslie! Now... lemme get back to reading and you go have fun :D
We think any party takes place in the comfort of our own reading chair or bed. Isn't reading a book enough of a party? If that's so, then we're party animals!
6. "I don't want the new Sephora Eye Shadow Palette"
What we really mean to say... I want books!! Books, books, books, books, books, books, and more books! If you're going to get me a Christmas present or a birthday gift, do you really have to ask me what I want? I don't want to say straight-up that I want books because that would be selfish and like super annoying of me, but I really do want books. SO. GET. ME. SOME. BOOKS!
There's always that friend of family member that decides to ask us what we want as a gift when it's kind of obvious that we'd like some more books because we're hoarders and can't help it. We never want to tell them straight-up that we'd like books because it sounds so .... sounds very like selfish and spoiled. We just say "oh no you didn't have to get me anything."
7. "There's like a huge discount today"
What we really mean to say... I'm not talking about shoes or clothes. I'm talking about books. Barnes & Noble is having a BOGO sale on any hardcovers so I must go now. I'm going to grab my purse and you can stay or come with me, either way I'm leaving.
Whenever we talk in terms of sales, it's always going to be about books because it's rare that you find a good deal on book prices.